Fort Condor sucks

As a result of I consider in transparency, I need to start with saying that there isn’t a larger mark for Ultimate Fantasy 7 Rebirth than I. I do know the followers of Ultimate Fantasy 7 are legion, and that each certainly one of them believes they will lay declare to the title of Greatest FF7 Fan. They’re entitled to assume that. They’re additionally incorrect. I love Ultimate Fantasy 7 essentially the most, and I’m having fun with Ultimate Fantasy 7 Rebirth greater than all of them, in all probability. Nevertheless, there’s one factor I’m not having fun with: Fort Condor. Fuck that sport.

Somewhat recap: Fort Condor is a tower protection minigame that first appeared in Intermission, the bonus chapter added to the Ultimate Fantasy 7 Remake Intergrade re-release. Primarily based on a phase from the unique FF7, Fort Condor took the form of a board sport performed by the characters in Intermission, the place gamers personalized a lineup of little troops (attackers, defenders, and long-range models) and despatched them to destroy their opponent’s tower — in addition to counter models their opponent has despatched to do the identical.

Intermission’s Fort Condor was bare-bones, however charming, enjoyable. The kind of factor that may instantly cease you in your tracks to play as a lot as you may earlier than being bothered with the so-called “important plot.” I used to be blissful to see it come again in Rebirth — after which I truly performed. People? I hate it.

New Fort Condor just isn’t somewhat board sport to tinker with however a sequence of goofy challenges with wildly escalating issue, and the distinction between the 2 variations has me reeling. I don’t assume a single sport has launched this a lot further problem since skilled soccer invented the ahead go.

Picture: Sq. Enix

That mentioned, I do perceive why the brand new model of Fort Condor is way more durable, and why it’s even a good suggestion. See, regardless of a bunch of superficial adjustments — changing materia spells with hero models, or having gamers select from set lineups over constructing out groups — a given Fort Condor match is all the time a puzzle, with one ultimate answer. Within the earlier model featured in Intermission, that puzzle could possibly be solved earlier than you even began the match — all one needed to do was take a look at the opposing lineup and slot within the requisite counters. Easy Rock, Paper, Scissors.

The brand new Fort Condor in Rebirth, nevertheless, limits you to a couple attainable configurations primarily based on total technique: Do you assume an offensive play or defensive one is finest? Which of the three sorts of models will you construct your match round? What mixture of the 2 do you assume will convey you success?

Whilst you can work out some of the puzzle within the setup, the precise answer is discovered whereas taking part in: Studying the lineup and cadence of your opponent’s crew (which by no means adjustments) and optimizing your timing to take advantage of weaknesses. This makes Fort Condor extra of a sport you truly play, and never one you simply spam via.

I simply occur to assume that sport sucks. It’s a largely trial-and-error course of the place the moment-to-moment choices aren’t terribly fascinating, and so they’re largely made for you. (See defensive models coming your manner? Higher get your long-range models out.) In my expertise, there is just one “Eureka!” second per sport, and it’s the one which lastly brings you a win. This could come after a pair tries or a pair dozen tries — and neither feels satisfying, as a result of I by no means really feel like I figured one thing out.

Look, I’m a sensible individual, normally. I do crossword puzzles with out wanting something up, and I understood Inception the primary time I noticed it. I’d even learn Pynchon sooner or later, on a seaside, simply to point out how straightforward it may be. Difficult artwork is nice, and I don’t assume minigames need to be easy to be fulfilling. Nevertheless, there’s a distinction between a sport being tough and being actual fucking annoying, and if you wish to know what that’s, I recommend you play Fort Condor.